Facilitator Corner: Abigail Lim

 

FIUTS Facilitators are student leaders from all over theworld who welcome new international visitors, help to organize events, and lead activities for hundreds of students each quarter. Read on to find out more about the FIUTS facilitator experience from Abby!

Name: Abigail Lim

Country: Singapore

Major: Psychology; Anthropology

Class: Senior

FIUTS Facilitator Since: Autumn 2014

Introduction

Most people know me as Abby, the girl with red hair – or so I’ve been told! I’ve been in America for about four years, having moved from Singapore to Seattle with my family. I’m currently juggling undergraduate life, being the oldest sister of two younger siblings, a temperamental ten-year-old dachshund, a small Etsy shop, and of course, FIUTS commitments. On the rare occasion that I find myself with free time, I enjoy tinkering around on the piano, strumming a couple chords on the ukulele, watching endless shows on Netflix, and indulging in a good book while sipping good hot tea. (That is to say, I’m not entirely a tea-only person as I enjoy a good cuppa joe as much as the next Seattlite.)

What does it mean to be a FIUTS facilitator?

I joined FIUTS in the autumn of 2014, and my biggest regret is not discovering FIUTS sooner! At this point, when I’m preparing for graduation soon, I can say without doubt that my involvement with FIUTS has definitely been the highlight of my time at the UW. Unlike most other international students, I did not participate in international student orientation since I’m considered an in-state student. As such, I only found out about FIUTS in the spring of 2014 when they were recruiting members for the new student board. Curious, I did a bit of research on FIUTS, and the more I read the more excited I got. I submitted an application, not expecting much since I had no prior experience, but desperate to find something worthwhile to do so I could say that my time at the UW was not spent solely on academic pursuits. I wanted to help make a difference in the lives of my fellow students at the UW, to ease them along their transition into American culture as I had gone through the same awkward journey myself.

And that’s the core of what it means to be a FIUTS facilitator to me. Transitions are never easy, and I think it’s wonderful that international students at the UW have access to the awesome resource that is FIUTS. As a facilitator, you would be the point of contact between the international student body and FIUTS, a position that would enable you to see your efforts impact and help real people. I’m grateful to be both a facilitator and a member of the student board since I get to play both fields – to be involved in the planning as well as the execution of events. Too often, it is easy to get caught up in issues of logistics and planning so we forget that we’re planning these events for real people. Being a facilitator has helped me to keep this in mind, and to also reap the satisfaction of seeing an event unfurl at the frontlines. Without facilitators, FIUTS would just be another impersonal organization. Facilitators connect the students to FIUTS, while also connecting FIUTS to the students. I like to think of facilitators as facilitating the formation of friendships, not of events or activities.

Favorite FIUTS anecdote as a facilitator

As a facilitator, you get to meet many people at various events, and sometimes it might feel like these connections you make are only superficial. I try to make it a point to get to know people not just during the event, but after the event as well so these relationships are maintained, and hopefully deepened. FIUTS events are meant to be just the starting points for us to get to know each other in safe and fun environments, and it’s up to us to maintain the connections we make even after the event. In addition, during the event itself, I try to engage myself more meaningfully. By this I mean that I try to go beyond just the icebreakers – an activity or two is not enough to get to know someone, nor is it always sufficient to get people to feel comfortable and open up. Once, a girl told me that even though we’d only met briefly through a single event, she felt as though we had been friends for a long time. It’s moments like this that I treasure and take to be an indicator of my success as a facilitator.

Tips for peer facilitators

As a facilitator you may feel pressured to maintain the image of “the leader”. While in some respects this is indeed so, I have found that this mentality is usually detrimental, as it is founded on the rigid understanding of a hierarchical leadership. I find it much more useful to see everybody as equals, as peers. Though you may be the one guiding them along the activity, don’t feel like you have to be one step ahead of everyone else all the time as you’re guiding, and not directing. Being more of a director than a guider could make you seem less approachable, which would only serve to detach you from the core purpose of a facilitator, which is, as I mentioned above – to facilitate new friendships, not events.

Most events involve more than one facilitator as well, so the burden of leadership doesn’t fall to just you. Dividing the workload helps, and it also makes it easier for you to interact more personally with each person. Large group settings may be intimidating, and you may feel like retreating into your comfort zone by staying with your fellow facilitators. Fight that urge! Breaking up into groups so each one of you has a smaller group to work with makes it much less intimidating, and would also make your interactions more genuine than if you were constantly trying to move on to the next person.

Don’t worry if you don’t consider yourself particularly extroverted. Chatting with people doesn’t have to involve a lot of talking on your part; an important conversation skill many people lack because of its difficulty is listening. By listening to your peers when they talk, you’re effectively conveying that you value what they have to say, and that you’re sincerely interested in learning more about them. Listening actively is also important, so you can ask follow-up questions, or interject meaningfully so they know that you’re actually paying attention to them. Conversely, recognize that other people may not be particularly extroverted either, and understandably so since they are in a foreign environment, with a lot of new people, perhaps speaking a different language than they are used to, and with a lot of new customs to keep in mind – it can be a lot to take in! It is a tricky social situation to maneuver as you want to help them feel comfortable while trying not to overstep your boundaries and come across as too pushy. As a rule of thumb, open-ended questions are always better than close-ended ones, as they encourage your interlocutor to speak more. It could also help to think of conversation starters in advance. Don’t forget that sometimes silence is okay, and that it can be reassuring to just be there for someone who’s feeling a little shy.

Finally, remember that there really is no one way to facilitate! Everybody brings something unique to the table, and that’s what makes each and every one of us valuable. A lot of it is about being in the moment, and going with the flow. If anything, I’d say that the most important thing is to be yourself, and to challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone. Facilitating is an experience through which you gain as much as, if not more than, you contribute! It’s a learning experience for everybody, so don’t be scared to try new things.

Oh and also, don’t forget to have fun! :)

 
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